The Man-Child views himself as a fine-tuned, never-to-be defeated, invincible, athletic machine. I can’t say he’s very wrong about that. He’s bigger, stronger, faster than I am, but the old man has years of experience, and a bit of cunning on him.
This was going to be the Man-Childs year. He was finally going to STOMP the old man at mini-golf. He told me that over and over. Dad didn’t have a chance. He might as well just give up and go home. The MAN-CHILD was going to WHIP the OLD man.
A funny thing happened on the way to the whipping.
I probably ought to start out with pointing you to Disclaimer #1
It was surreal…
Verne Lundquist was there to call the action.
Gary McCord was a roving reporter reading every putt.
Sorry I don’t have the video, but here’s a transcript of the action.
Verne: Good afternoon everyone and welcome to our coverage of the 4th annual Dad versus the Man-Child mini-golf challenge. This afternoon’s contest is sure to go down in the history books as one of the most compelling contests of our day.
Let’s start by introducing our on-course reporter Gary McCord. Gary what do you think of this match today…
Gary: Well Verne, not since Tiger’s won his first major at the Masters have I seen such a mismatch. Look at them. The kid is buff. He’s primed. He’s a lean mean golfing machine. Dad probably has to have help getting out of the car. He can barely walk. The kid is incredible. When I talked to him yesterday, he told me he’s been honing his skills and thinks he’ll beat Dad by 10 strokes. It’s embarrassing. I think this one’s over before they even strap on their shoes. Dad’ll probably have to have help with that.
Verne: They couldn’t have picked a nicer day. The temperature is 65 and the wind had died down altogether. Not bad for January.
Gary: That’s true Verne, but the forecast is for much colder temperatures after the sun goes down. Something I think is really in the kids favor. Wait. I think I see there car pulling in to the parking lot. Yes, there they are. Dad’s driving. He looks a little lost.
What’s this? Dad has stumbled getting out of the car, the kid had to steady him. Way to go kid. No way Dad’ll beat the kid today, Verne, it just won’t happen.
Verne: Dad won the toss and elected to play the Winter course. Chalk one up for Dad.
Verne: We’ll take a break and be back in just a minute. Todays 4th Annual Dad versus the Man-Child’s mini-golf challenge is brought to you by…
Commercial for Disney Parks plays here…
Verne: Welcome back. The players have reached the first tee.
Verne: What’d we miss during that break Gary?
Gary: Well Verne. The Man-Child has been talking non-stop trying to upset the old man. It seems to be working. It looks to me like Dad is talking to himself.
All for now. Part 2 of the The challenge next week.